Is “Being Single” …the new “ Happily Ever After….????”

From childhood every girl is fascinated by the stories where they wish upon the stars and wait patiently for their knight in shining armour until he appears. In the earlier days women believed that the “ happily ever after “ would only be in the form of getting married. Today women are thinking twice if they want to give the power of their happily ever after to someone else. One look around the married fraternity is making them wonder……Does marriage really equate to happiness …” ??? Women’s priorities are fast changing and a lot of them fear if it is better to be single rather than being married.

We don’t live in an age anymore where you need to be ashamed of not being married, dating or divorced. People have much more freedom today and so they take it. It’s amazing to see how so many new types of relationship have sprout in the name of  “ friends with benefits, occasional flirts, temporary flames, open relationships like – “ we had a thing once, but we are JUST friends now”. While all these people maybe enjoying the perks of a relationship they are technically single.

0-sa-d3-5814972934ceb02bda3f2f7f88983512

Finding the person who’s right for you requires a very subtle alchemy and in a world where coupling up seems to be a mission for most, if you do find the one, then it is wonderful to be able to share and live every moment of life’s journey. The dilemma with a lot of women is that they have fixed script in their head of how they would like their man to be. Rather than going for someone who’s devoted to you and thinks you’re the “bees knees”, they prefer to tilt the windmill in trying to acquire a partner who does not want them, is why so many of these amazing women are indefinitely single. They need to recalibrate their expectations of an ideal partner. The key is to let go of that so called image, because real relationships are not about credentials, about this someone who should be super rich, humorous, good looking and intelligent…..real relationships are about soul connections.

These days with the whole new trend of the pics popping up on social media……”hey guys he just proposed and we’re engaged” or “we’re getting married”,  may make you feel like everyone you know is on the way to being a happy couple. But if you are riding solo these days you are far from being alone. The latest statistics show there are approximately 73 million single women in India alone which includes – unmarried, divorced, separated, widows and a 40% rise over the last  decade. There is a huge rise of single women in the age group of 23-29 years globally which indicates that the preferred age of marriage might have moved up.

Today society has started viewing the single women in a whole new light. Their spending power has caught the attention of several businesses where travel companies customize vacations for them, television commercials too have started to acknowledge that fact. There was a time when single women were pitied on Indian cinema and TV shows. Sitcoms like Sex and the City have made them “ oh-so-cool and desirable. While social pressures continue to prevail and nudge the women to tie the knot, they are not as binding as they may have been a decade ago and moreover, the women today are more vocal about their choices.

A woman in her late thirties in spite of being in a relationship in the past, did not see marriage happening anytime soon and so she chose to go ahead and adopt a child. Adoption is a good option as you see more and more single women taking to it. Today’s woman is no longer waiting for a man to make her feel complete or to experience the feeling of motherhood. This one is a win win for both – mother and child. 0-sa-d2-91b09526fc40cee1b1ba2f85bf8375f7

Today whether you are married or single, both can make you happier, healthier more integrated in society and better off in all sorts of other physical and emotional ways. The road to marriage is no happier, than when you were single. One of the biggest ironies of life is that women appreciate the value of being single only after being stuck in a relationship they no longer want to be in. Sometimes women choose to stay single because they are tired of being taken for granted in a relationship. Some tend to confuse being single with being lonely. Single is a situation and you may not have control over that situation, but you definitely have control over the feeling of being lonely. But if you are relying on a man, it’s hardly a panacea for loneliness.

Don’t ever be in this doubt that the ones who are married are better off. They must be silently envying all you single people and you have no idea that marriage is not just a cakewalk. There are setbacks and advantages in both. Life is just not about getting a partner. There is much more to this journey of life so don’t eliminate the great source of love around you. And if someone does come along in your life and your gut feeling says this is it, then go for it OR else learn to value and love your “single space” with grace…….

The single woman today appears strong enough to live a life without depending on a man to make her happy, and for some it’s not an excuse it’s a choice.

Just Be…..

Bijli

3 thoughts on “Is “Being Single” …the new “ Happily Ever After….????”

  1. Undoubtedly a well written piece . In our so called orthodox or rather hypocrite society one married and marries mostly, to only be accepted by this society. Love , lust , compatibility , respect – ‘everything can be managed once married’ as said by the members of this society but the issue is that these members are never happy so stop caring . It doesn’t matter whether you are a lady or a Man – Live your life the way you wish to , be with someone , be single , be FWB , be Gay , be straight , be a Gypsy – Be Happy – most important – Be Happy !

    Like

  2. I was single and I loved it. Now I am married and I love it too. I thought many times do I need to do this, can we not just remain as we are. Single, creative/hard working woman in her mid thirties can be on her own and be very happy too. The fact that you want a companion who gets you is what is noteworthy. Gives you your space, someone who embraces and encourages you to be who you are and most women want that I find. Compromise is one thing but being real and speaking your mind is mostly the winner. Single, married, divorced either way surround yourselves with love that is around you.

    Like

  3. Thanks for this. Brings a relief reading this, when I walk a different path from the crowd. Until you get ready for marriage its good to wait. When anyone starts a life with “NO” inside and a “Yes” outside because of other factors like age, parents, finance, emotional dependency and society. How does its gonna work. What is this individual doing to them. No is always a No.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s